I just want to start this post just thanking my children for coming into my life. I love them more than I could ever say. From being pregnant with my son until now, I have slowly but surely become more and more beautiful as a person. I can only thank their little spirits coming into my life and bringing me here.
Appreciate what you’re children are here to give you
I want to dedicate this post to any parent who feels parenting is too difficult, unsatisfying or producing negative emotions. Without judgement, I’d love to help you shift your perspective. I’ve been there in the past, I’ve gotten angry, shouted and found the relationship with my children feeling resistant but it was really hurting my heart and I wanted to feel more love and peace with my children. I knew there was a better way. Parenting is challenging yes but it shouldn’t be hurtful. We should flow more, guide gently and always always use love. Approach with love, speak with love and aim for love.
Flow in harmony with your children
I personally feel it is a common misconception to spoil your child with too much love. There is a balance however. For example, if I know my child can tie their own shoe laces and I continue to do it for them, I am not loving them. I am taking away their opportunity to feel achievement in themselves. It requires gentle encouragement. We should use our intuition to sense whether our child needs gentle encouragement or they still genuinely need our help. The journey to independence for our children is slow, gentle and patient. Theres no need to rush them to grow up.
They won’t be spoilt, the more love we build in our children, the more they can contribute to the world
Within reason, never reject. an opportunity to listen to your child, with eye contact and truly hearing what they say. Never reject a hug or a kiss. Never reject an opportunity to play. House work, the phone, work, messages and pretty much anything else is not as important as loving your child in that moment. We only get so many moments and opportunities to build our child self-esteem and love in them. When they’re grown up we will see the fruit of the beautiful work we did as parents. Not by strict training but by building their hearts. They will not be spoilt. They will be secure, confident people who will be able to love and help others.
Let them flow and find their own interests
Let your child be connected to their own intuition. Having had issues with self doubt, I am hyper conscious to allow my children to develop their own intuition. Allowing them to find their own strengths and talents. Allowing them to make their own choices. Not pushing my own agenda for their life onto them. They were created with their own destinies, lets not interfere with whatever it may be. Let them be in harmony with life.
Gently encourage but if it seems to forceful let it go.
Changing your perspective on being a parent
A lot of the time it is the go to attitude to complain about being a parent, to see it as a negative thing. To complain about our children. Why create such a depressing situation in your life? This is resisting being a parent. Which creates negative feelings. Try changing the perspective. After all, you’re in it for life, and you cant change it. Being a parent is an honour. You have been chosen to lead and teach another person who is part of the future of this world. Everything you do matters. Our actions have a domino affect or a ripple effect on the world. The person our child becomes matters.
Feeling honour in giving
When becoming a parent, you begin a journey of giving. Putting someone else’s survival, health happiness and success first. This is an honour. It is good for the spirit and the soul. At the end of your life you will feel happy that you did something selfness, beautiful, loving and impactful. Yes, sometimes it feels hard to leave behind a part of yourself, but it is far more meaningful, purposeful and beautiful to invest your love in another. In fact you will not be left empty, you will find that the love and effort and meaning will come back to you ten fold. It’s beautiful.
One book that changed my perspective on parenting is Gabor Mate’s Hold Onto Your Kids. Its all about building a beautiful connection with your child.
Could a negative mindset be a blocker in flowing as a parent? Read my post on finding your way into a positive thought cycle and finding more love in being a parent.
