It seems in these current times everyone is getting divorced. Relationships are not lasting very long. Online dating doesn’t seem to be very successful. What went wrong? We all know there was a time when our grandparents or great grandparents met at 16, married months later and stayed together until death do them part. I do hear that many couples, especially women weren’t happy but had not other choice but to stay in the marriage. Sometimes they were even at the receiving end of abuse and there wasn’t anything they could do about it. As a woman I’m incredibly grateful that we now have the freedom and the support from the police and other social services to be free from such an unhappy and painful life.
It seems now there is so much freedom, so much choice and people are becoming more intolerant of each other. Men and women both find themselves still seeking and longing for that real long lasting love, but cant seem to achieve it anymore. Could this be a phase in time which is necessary in our evolution? A part of humanities journey of reaching its highest purpose? There was so much disrespect and abuse towards women in the past. They didn’t have much say or power, so its not like we should go back to that point. However, I do see this current separation of men and women could be a vital step in moving towards a better expression of love towards each other.
So now that women do have the freedom to live alone, to work and support themselves. It seems like some women ask themselves the question, what have men got to offer without their financial and social status of power over the woman?
Clearly we still want each other. It feels like we’ve given up on each other recently but we are two genders that were put on this earth. Some may say we can be completely satisfied and whole alone. Which is completely true. However, I do believe that one of the highest expressions of love is romantic love between two partners. We don’t need to have this in our life but are we not here to experience love? To experience the highest expressions of life? Is there anything higher and more beautiful to experience than the love between two partners or between a parent and child? So while men and women have given up on each other, we should put in the effort to make things better. To rectify what ever imbalance has occurred, so that love can be experienced again.
So what do men and women want from each other?
I’m just going to put it out there, from my experience as a woman. I want a man who can be content with one woman. Content with her beauty. Who can see the beauty in a woman that builds over time. While she may age, her inner spiritual beauty grows stronger, if she’s dedicating her life to this that is. How is the mans thought life? Does he desire other women in his thoughts? In his heart? Is he feeding his mind and soul with porn? Personally I want a man who can transcend the temptations and desires in this world and can invest his love into a marriage.
One of the reasons my first marriage failed is because my partner was not truly ready or content to commit himself to one women. This was something that was ignored and pushed aside. But it was there in his hearts and in his thoughts and it manifested and the relationship just didn’t work. If men and women want a marriage, they have to truly want it in their hearts, their minds and thoughts. They have to put in the work to be sailing their ship. You cant be dabbling in flirty eye contact, in sexual fantasies or porn as eventually this could lead to infidelity. You have to be truly dedicated, in the mind and in the heart to the other person. As a woman, this is I personally seek from a man. Some may see this as possessive, controlling or jealous. I don’t feel this way personally.
Lets be real, a look of desire hurts. It does hurt. To see the person who you are trusting with your heart to see them desire another it does hurt. If i know my mans heart and his true intentions are good and pure towards me, I would never stop him from talking to a beautiful woman or even helping and supporting another woman.
Women spend so much money on looking good, and men always want to look at a beautiful woman.
Women just want men to see and appreciate their beauty. All of their beauty.
What do men really want?
Likewise, men want the same dedication and love from their woman. They don’t want to be hurt or feel less than their number 1 man. Please men correct me if I’m wrong, but from my personal experience, they just want to be loved for who they are. They want to feel adequate in what they can provide for their woman and family. They don’t want to be criticised. Women could find faults and try to fix everything in their life but this really hurts the man. They want to feel trusted and adequate. Can we women just also be content with the man, the way they look, the money they earn, the sex they perform? Its pretty tight on men, they cant even wear make-up. They just gotta have their full face on show as it is. I admire men for that. They have nothing to hide behind (maybe a beard sometimes).
Additionally, I feel they do want an attractive woman. They do want boobs and bums. However I have no boobs and it doesn’t make me feel any less attractive to men.
My brother told me that what separates his woman from the rest is love. He simply put it like that. And his girlfriend shines. She is such a beautiful person. The person she is, her smile and her lovely hair.
I may read this back one day and realise I got some of it wrong. This is just my perspective at this moment in time.
Men, we still love you. Talk to us, tell us whats making you unhappy. Tell us what makes you happy? Its good to talk.
The following sculpture really touches me. It shows there is a loving part of both men and women that want to connect, but there are outer barriers of conflict to transcend.
Some ideas taken from the famous classic Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.
Men and women, please comment below and share whats missing for you. What do you want as a woman or a man? Keep it compassionate and positive and loving.
